Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Snippets That Still Work

So I'm not even sure how to describe my sexuality right now. It's sort in this foggy purgatory and it has me wondering how I got here. Of course there's the obvious notion that my environment here with Bella doesn't really groom my inner desires; but I'm also wondering if my sexuality in itself is changing. As my 30's quickly slip away I wonder if I'm just naturally proceeding down the slope of a mountain with my sexual peak far behind me.

Masturbation has always been the relief valve I've used to keep my mind from going crazy when the monster within starts to demand attention. In a normal cycle it seems that at least 6 nights out of a week finds me self indulging with wondrous thoughts of D/s dancing in my head. Often all it takes is a few comforting objects such as a gag tightly buckled between my teeth or the lock on my collar clinking away as I pleasure myself to orgasm before bed each night. Simple images of a woman trying on a cute pair of shoes or of unstoppable drool slipping away from a tightly buckled gag.

But lately old reliable images such as these just haven't been doing the trick and although I do manage to reach an orgasm, they're often anti-climatic and leave me feeling odd after I'm finished. It's hard to explain but some of the emotions I'm left with are shame, disappointment, and defeat; even though I've never felt that way about my sexuality. I've gone through this kind of "low" before, but this last stint seems to be the longest that I've endured these feelings.

When I'm feeling this way it makes me wonder if chastity would be something that would help with mindset. Chastity has always turned me on but I've never really experienced it in a real world way. During my D/s relationship with Meadow there were times where she expected me to remain chaste which I enjoyed very much but I never needed it to get me out of a sexual funk because what I was doing with Her at the time was so exciting that the funk was never an issue. Right now, self imposed chastity would just seem a little pathetic so it would do very little for my state of mind.

For the love of GOD please let springtime come with it's glorious sights of spring dresses and pretty shoes.

All hope is not lost though. Recently I did have a real nice orgasm at my very own hand but my thoughts were a little more elaborate than usual. I'm not sure what the formula was which made everything come together but I can tell you that I certainly needed to see that my monster was alive and well, especially after such a long hiatus. What's been difficult for mindset however is the lack of new mental material. During my time with Meadow or even the online connection I had with Angel, it was very easy be turned on by the kaleidoscope of ideas that were presented to me on a daily basis. My thoughts where absolutely peppered with a D/s glow and masturbation kept me from simply exploding.

The material I recently thought of wasn't new, but it's intensity and attention to detail is what had me shaking into a maddening orgasm...

My partner in this mental scenario was Meadow. Meadow was a petite girly-girl with bright green eyes and a wonderful smile. Having spent the time with her that I did, it's easy for me to create these mental images in my mind. She was always very feminine and polite, but underneath her lamb's clothing Meadow demanded effort that bordered on perfection. In short, when she spoke, I did as I was told.

... arriving home after a long week I tossed my keys on the counter before heading into my bedroom and preparing myself for a shower. It was a ritual that I had performed many times and part of the rules that we established when we moved in together. With towel in hand I streaked naked across the hall noticing on the clock that I had about a half hour before she came home.

Stepping into the shower the water felt wonderful as it cascaded over my face. With eyes closed and head tilted back I let my wandering hands lightly fondle my genitals along with the thick silver ring that circled my package. Within the gleaming ring was engraved the words "Meadow's Boy". Not allowing myself to linger too long I finished with my shower, however the pleasant thoughts were apparent by the erection that bobbed in front of me. After drying myself off and a bit of grooming I felt I looked presentable for her arrival.

During our time at home together Meadow expected me to be naked. Of course there are many times where this wouldn't be appropriate but she felt very strongly that the concept of her remaining clothed with me naked would reinforce the kind of power exchange that we both thrived on; not to mention she loved to see the cock ring that not so subtly reminded me of our established roles.

Since it was Friday I went into the kitchen and corked a new bottle of wine that Meadow had mentioned she wanted to try which I had purchased earlier in the week. I payed particular attention to make sure the glasses were gleaming and spot free. It was then that I heard her key go into the lock on the door.

If I was home, Meadow expected me to greet her at the door when she arrived. Nothing formal from a D/s perspective, but perhaps a kiss and a welcome with a smile. She took great joy in seeing me well groomed and in a state of dress that would help her mind unwind from a busy work week. Our relationship wasn't carefully scripted with contracts or constant protocol. Our goal was to be ourselves but at the same time sate the yearnings of our complimentary sexualities. Thing were pretty vanilla for the most part, with the subtle yet definite understanding that she was the queen.

Like most Fridays she settled into the living room as I retrieved the wine and glasses. She was delighted to see I had bought the new brand she wanted to try. I of course secretly beamed knowing she was proud of me for remembering. As we exchanged small talk about the day I slipped in front of her to remove her shoes and begin with a foot rub. Her shoes of course were cute little heeled sandals that she knew turned me on immensely. In my current state of dress she could easily tell that I approved of the style.

"Wow I really like this wine," she said after finishing her glass, "what do you think?"

"I agree, it's really nice", I said while focusing my attention to her tired arches.

"Boy", she paused to get my attention "did you buy only this one bottle?"

"No Ma'am", I said. An honorific I felt appropriate after her "boy" reference. "I bought a few bottles in case you liked it."

"That's good," she said "because JoAnne and Lisa are dropping by for a visit."

JoAnne and Lisa were long time friends of Meadow's and really nice ladies. Over the years they'd had their share of marital issues and often our house doubled as a shrink's office while they aired their problems. Meadow and I of course got along great and many times the girls would mention how envious they were of our happiness; not to mention how attentive I seemed to be towards my wife's needs. As close as we were to these women though we never let them in on the status of our relationship or our roles. To them we probably just appeared as a happy couple and I was an attentive husband.

Refilling Meadow's glass I asked her what time the girls would be arriving.

"They'll probably be here in an hour." she paused to think, "I'm thinking three trays of goodies, say veggies and dip, cheese and crackers, and perhaps some fresh fruit."

Of course it wasn't an idle thought, but an order to let me know that I had only an hour to prepare the trays.

"I'm going to finish my wine and relax a bit. Take my shoes and put them away before you start in the kitchen."

While finishing up with some final preparations it occurred to me that any minute now the girls would be arriving and I of course was still naked. Meadow in the mean time had changed into some comfortable less formal attire. She was wearing a pair of very casual capri pants, a cute little form fitting t-shirt and a pair of patent leather flip flops to complete her summery look.

After finishing up in the kitchen I explained to Meadow that I was going to go to my bedroom and put on some clothes because the girls could arrive at any minute.

"Yes I want you to wear those new boxer briefs and the matching top." she commanded.

"Ok," I said. "What else do you prefer or is it my choice?" I asked.

"Pay attention boy," again the boy to make sure I was listening, " I said boxer briefs and the matching top."

Her look was stern and she wasn't smiling. Did I hear her right? She wants me ONLY in my underwear? Surely this wasn't what she meant because I can't imagine what JoAnne and Lisa would think. I started to ask for clarification of her request when I heard it...


Meadow had snapped her fingers which always meant one thing. With a Pavlovian response, when the snap is heard I'm to drop what I'm doing instantly and kneel in front of her. I'm to listen and not speak until I'm dismissed. She doesn't often use the finger snap, but when she does I know she's serious. Before I knew it I was on the floor in front of her.

"Those briefs can easily double as casual wear. Men wear boxers around the house all the time. If I think those clothes are appropriate for our visitors then why do you question my judgement?" she scolded.

"I'm sorry," I said, but inside I kept on thinking how inappropriate I would look to our visitors. No matter because at this point there was no choice. She wanted me this way and there was no debate.

"Off you go", she said with a head nod towards my bedroom.

Standing in front of my chest of drawers I noticed that my heart was racing so I stood and focused on my breathing. The thick chrome ring that encircled my cock was tight to the point of being uncomfortable. It probably didn't help that I had an immense erection from what just happened. I barely stopped shaking long enough to get dressed before the doorbell rang. I knew Meadow would want me to greet them and answer the door.

As I opened the door to a couple of smiling faces JoAnne caught first glimpse of me and offered a very friendly hello. Her good mood comforted me because she hadn't even made reference to my attire. Lisa trailed in behind her and I suspect the close quarters at the front door had not given the ladies the perspective they needed to see what I was wearing. I motioned them to the living room where Meadow was just getting out of her chair to greet our guests with a big hugs and kisses.

Honestly the three of them got along splendidly and there was always a feeling of excitment as they saw each other for the first time. I had quietly slipped out to the kitchen to retrieve the wine and snacks while I could hear Meadow telling them to make themselves comfortable. As I stood at the counter I realized that the girls had not yet noticed what I was wearing. I was still very nervous about being unpresentable but it didn't matter. I had to deal with my inner angst alone because I simply had to do as I was told and put faith in Meadow's choice.

As I brought in the glasses Lisa gave me a look up and down and followed it up with an inquisitive look.

While pouring the wine in her glass she said, "Wow , you certainly look comfy. Did we come a little too early?" JoAnne of course had noticed and the room instantly fell silent while the three awaited my reply. Not knowing what to say I stared intently at Meadow for some guidance.

"Not at all Lisa," Meadow began giving me huge relief, "I'm just looking forward to a relaxing evening with great friends and being able to see that behind will certainly help me relax."

There was yet another awkward pause. Meadow stared at me with both ladies looking on and gave me a head gesture towards the kitchen. I set the wine bottle on the table and walked out to get the snack trays.

"I certainly won't complain about what he's wearing," Lisa said as I exited the room.

As I was putting some finishing touches on the trays I could hear the ladies talking to Meadow about how well behaved I was. The conversation carried on about how I did things without complaint while the other husbands hardly got off the couch, let alone spend an evening entertaining three women. This topic had come up in conversation before but this time, instead of Meadow shrugging it all off to good luck, I heard her start to spoon-feed Lisa and JoAnne a little bit of our relationship.

"Believe it or not, he really enjoys this," she began "Some men are simply wired this way and I have to admit, I certainly couldn't live without it myself. We have a yin and yang that match well."

As I entered the room with the snack trays the girls continued talking about our dynamic. Meadow of course mostly skirted along the edge when describing our relationship but she certainly was giving them a glimpse of how things are. I casually sat down on the floor beside Meadow while the women continued to talk. I took a moment and zoned out because it was then that I noticed the amazing summer shoes JoAnne had on. They were a cute pair of pink sling back thongs and I was praying that an erection wouldn't present itself. My boxer briefs would hardly contain my excitement and the humiliation would be devastating. I concentrated very hard on becoming disconnected with what was going on but here I was at the feet of three beautiful women wearing nothing more than a cock ring and underwear while Meadow described how obedience and service was an inherent sexual need in me.

As the conversation rolled on I noticed that JoAnne and Lisa had become ever more curious and started to ask some very specific questions.

"So he does what he's told without complaint?" Lisa asked.

"Of course he does," Meadow said "because he yearns to please me and it makes him happy."

As time continued on the topic hadn't changed and I have to admit, had it not been for the wine I probably would have felt a little uncomfortable. At some point the conversation focused on foot massage and how I provided Meadow with one every night after work.

"He really is well skilled at it," Meadow proclaimed.

"Well then,"Lisa said while sipping her wine and spilling a little down her cheek "perhaps we need a demonstration?"

With a stern voice Meadow chortled, "Boy.... lotion."

There it was. She'd called me "boy" in front of the girls. I didnt' have long to think about it though because automatically I was on my feet and heading to her bedroom to retrieve the lotion. While out of earshot I could no longer hear the conversation going on but I could faintly hear Meadow's voice and at the end of each sentence I could hear JoAnne and Lisa giggling out loud. It was obvious they were enjoying what was going on. I of course was a bundle of nerves, barely keeping it together enough to stop my hands from shaking.

When I returned I nervously kneeled in front of JoAnne and looked to Meadow for approval to start. She nodded. With that JoAnne had crossed her legs so that one of her feet extended in my direction. Putting my fingers on the buckle of her cute little sandal I stopped and looked up at her.

"May I?" I said asking permission to remove her shoe.

"You may," she said from behind a sly but beaming smile.

I expertly worked my hands into the lotion, warming it before applying my hands to JoAnne's dainty feet. As I worked her heel she let out a huge relaxing sigh while Lisa sat up to get a better view. It wasn't long before my excitement could be contained no longer and my boxer briefs did very little to hide it. Consciously I started to slip away.

"Boy," Meadow interrupted "you're not properly dressed to give a foot massage."

I looked at her intently. "Excuse me Ma'am?"

She repeated, "You're NOT properly dressed to be serving a woman's feet."

Surely she couldn't mean that I was to be naked! In front of our guests!

"Ma'am I...." I began, pleading her with my eyes.

"I'LL NOT ASK AGAIN." she reinforced with a look that meant business.

I just couldn't bring myself to admit to what was happening. There just had to be a misunderstanding. Perhaps she'd had too much wine and her judgment was a bit off a the moment.

"But Ma'am.... I couldn't just..."


Instantly I leaped up from where I was and took my place in front of her. I submissively placed my hands behind my back and listened intently to what words where to come. I could feel both JoAnne and Lisa's eyes trained on me to see what was going to happen next. I was a wreck.

For the next minute she scolded me about embarrassing her in front of her friends. Then she turned her attention away from me and spoke to the girls about what she expected from me. She doled out word for word what our life was like at home. Both girls seemed keenly interested. It seemed nothing was secret now and I was outed completely for what I was.

Pulling my chin up, she looked directly in my eyes and said,

"That will be enough out of you tonight. Wait here for me."

As she left and with my back to Lisa and JoAnne I felt completely defeated. I decided that other than try to apologize to the ladies I would simply do as I was told out of respect for Meadow. When Meadow returned, she was carrying my ball gag head harness.

She buckled it on and as my eyes descended into darkness and the ball took away my speech, I let out a huge sigh and accepted my submission. Meadow continued to explain to the girls what she was doing, and how this sort of correction was good for me from time to time. The girls of course where in complete awe with what was going on and loved it.

"Now, stand up and properly attire yourself to rub a woman's feet."

Without hesitation I removed my shorts and top. The blindfold of course robbed me of seeing any reaction in the ladies faces and Meadow knew it.

"You may contintue," she said as she pushed me down in front of JoAnne.

As I fondled for the lotion and continued to service her peds the conversation continued on like I simply wasn't in the room. I'd been reduced to an object and could do nothing about it. My manhood of course strained against the ring that now could be modeled for them both so that they could read the inscription.

I'm sorry dear readers but it was at this point that I lost my composure and exploded into a glorious orgasm. What brought these thoughts on during masturbation I have no idea but I can tell you that typing them out has been just as exciting.

.... I think it's time for bed.....